• Bri Edwards

Reframing Failure

Updated: Apr 13

It’s often that we set goals that we don’t end up achieving. Maybe you ended up having coffee for breakfast all week when you were so motivated and determined the week before to properly nourish yourself each morning for the day. Then the next week comes and you wonder where all the motivation went. The truth is, motivation is not a constant. It doesn’t appear just by setting a goal and often when the motivation doesn't show up, neither do we. We then beat ourselves up and say we’ve “failed”. We completely toss out the goal because we think it’s unachievable, we think we’re “lazy” or say it’s too hard.

I’ve found that reframing these “failures” as redirection to something that works for us in our lives is far more effective than getting down on ourselves. When we get caught up in negative thought patterns, how do we expect ourselves to logically look at why we didn’t achieve our goals and what we may need to change about them to make them fit into our lives? When I’m feeling down on myself, I certainly don’t find it easy to allow myself some grace and understand that often when we don’t achieve our goals, we’re just being redirected to something that works better for us.

But if I DO allow myself some grace and realize that maybe this goal is still important to me and it is just the way that I was trying to get there that wasn’t the best fit in my life, I can look at the goal again in a new light.

When we “fail” at achieving our goals, it doesn’t mean that this goal wasn’t for you. It just means that you need to approach it in a different way. We no longer need to think that the only way to motivate ourselves is by self depreciation. We can be kind and ask ourselves the appropriate questions to set a goal more in-line with our lives.

For example, if you didn’t achieve your goal of eating breakfast every morning before work because your goal was to have an omelette each morning and you usually only have about 5 minutes to spare after getting yourself ready for the day, maybe that goal was a bit unrealistic for you. You could then ask yourself, “what was it about this goal that made it hard for me to achieve it?” “How can I redirect myself so that I’m still getting nourishment in the morning but on a timeframe that works for my schedule?” Maybe some meal prepping of egg cups (mini omelettes in a muffin pan) on Sundays would work better for you.

By redirecting yourself to a more achievable goal that works for you and your already busy schedule, you take the pressure and criticism that you give on yourself away and focus on what will work in your life instead of what's not and that is far more motivating. I can tell you that there is never just one way to approach something. You don’t have to try to achieve a goal the same way as anyone else may have achieved it before you.

If you’re struggling with goal setting and achieving said goals, it may be time to reach out to a health coach that can work with you to personalize your goals and how you plan to achieve them. If you’re interested in health coaching, you can schedule a free 15-minute consultation with me or sign up for your first session on Mindbody, or give Statera a call at 563-207-8932!

Until next time,

Coach Bri

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